And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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