My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
