I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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