Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
