He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
