I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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