on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
