Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
