you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
