talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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