I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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