The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
