One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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