we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
