I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
