That's intense
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We left an ass print on the piano.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
