bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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