apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
