Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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