True but thats because hes a fetus.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
