do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize