I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
