Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
