I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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