I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
