Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
