We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
