i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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