All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
