How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
