In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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