Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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