I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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