Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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