Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize