i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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