I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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