We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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