Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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