yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
