So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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