This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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