Don't you send me to vm
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
