Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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