theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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