The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Randomize
