Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
