so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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