He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
