The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
