i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
