what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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