Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
