I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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