Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
