so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
