This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I came so hard my ears popped.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
