At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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