Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
