I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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