I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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