If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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